Merry Harijanto
Mar 19, 2022
Merry Harijanto
Age: 39 on the 31st of December
From: Jakarta, Indonesia
Lives: Bali, Indonesia
This is who I am in the world…
I know that I am a good listener as my friends, my relatives and my colleagues come to me, sharing stories about themselves. They are happy to talk and share their problems with me. I am an entertainer too. I was a professional singer at a young age and would perform on stage and at weddings and I was so happy. Sometimes I miss being on stage. I ask myself the question of why I don’t do it anymore, and sometimes it’s about the opportunity not seemingly being there. For now, it’s just for fun, rather than a career.
I am happy if I can help people, and seeing them happy makes me happy. I like making new friends and meeting people. While I’m not a typical social butterfly, I enjoy learning about others cultural background and about their personality, what makes them live and their purpose. This inspires me.
I like beauty and art, and I now do freelance makeup for my career. I like to make people beautiful. This came from being on stage, and doing my make up a lot. A friend asked why I don’t follow my passion in this and they saw my talent, so I gave it a try. I like to explore new hobbies related to art. In Bali I have begun pottery and painting. I have also learned how to swim, which has had me overcome a trauma with water and slowly I’m improving.
This is the story I want next written for women….
I have learned that it’s important to be independent. I was previously married and so so dependant on my ex-husband. Some women would have seen my life and thought that I was lucky for not having to do much. Some women would have seen my life from the appearance on the outside, and they would have seen a golden cage. What they did not see was that I didn’t have my own life or freedom from control.
I have since learned that particularly as an Indonesian woman, it is important to be independent, so that you have the freedom to pursue your goals and dreams in life. There are pros and cons in this culture, and the more dependant you are on your spouse, the more it feeds their ego. Indonesian women tend to tolerate a lot in our marriages.
In Jakarta, I had maids who always left at 17, 18 years old to go back to the village and get married. This is our culture that has been passed on from generation to generation. I have three children, aged between 6 and 12 in Jakarta. While in the West co-parenting is much more common, it’s not as easy in our culture. Given this, I want women to develop their independence earlier.
This is not to say that I didn’t enjoy my previous life, but there were things that I had to sacrifice to live in this fairy tale. I have friends who still live this way and its fine, as life is about choices, you choose your path and I choose mine. I love my kids but it wasn’t good for them to see their parents not in good harmony. I want women to understand that when they are young, they haven’t explored life yet, and they don’t yet know themselves. I also want them to know that if someone is a nice person, this doesn’t mean that you will make a compatible life partnership.
This is the next story that I am writing for myself…..
I want to be successfully independent, to grow my career, to show my kids, my parents and the world that I can make it. They thought that I couldn’t survive on my own, and that I would be back within three months. That was four years ago. I’m progressing and learning and I’m developing my own character and sharpening my emotional intelligence. I am living independently, speaking publicly, and getting involved in leadership and management within my career, which is an achievement.
Next, I want to take my career to the next level with a higher position, and to open my own business and do my own thing, most probably with either beauty or food. I also want to learn how to write as I have so much to share!!
Author
Michelle Gardener
Author
Michelle Gardener is a Coach, Author, Yogi, Blogger and Inspirational Speaker. She educates women all over the world in Social Change Leadership and is dedicated to pioneering the most amount of impact possible through helping women create social projects that do good for our world.
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