Lois Terlecki

Lois Terlecki

Pennsylvania, USA

Born in New Jersey, USA

75 years old 

1. Who are you in the world?

I am a 75 year old wife with 55 years of marriage under my belt, and a mother to three beautiful children who are now in the 40’s and 50’s.  Naturally being a loving and caring individual, raising my family came very easy and most enjoyable for me.  I did work at several different positions throughout the raising of my children, but always with the priority of family first! Thus, to this day, I am completely satisfied with my role in this world, deriving much pleasure from what I have accomplished as a wife and mother.  

2. What is the story to be rewritten for women

Women in my day married young, mainly in their 20’s. Our main role in life was to marry and bear children.  As women, we were more subservient to our husbands and mostly stay at home moms to care for the children.  This was the acceptable way of life at the time, and we, as women, did our best to be good wives and mothers.  Some of us worked to help with finances, but a true career was usually not in the making.  At least, it would have been  difficult to accomplish.  

Times have evolved with women of today being more independent and self sufficient. Careers are considered for women, marriage at a later date, and children later in life.  A happy medium between the old and the new would be ideal.  

I would like to see more of a balance between wifehood/motherhood and the independent woman of today. The “Me too Generation” has gone a bit too far (in my opinion),  resulting in the  contribution to the breakdown of the family. Nothing can be more important than a loving, caring, thriving family. The input of women to the family is unconditionally rewarding!  

My few words of wisdom regarding marriage;

Firstly, all marriages are different, just as all relationships vary.  What is good for one, may not apply to another! You have to find what is right for you and your significant other, and then apply accordingly.  

For example, our neighbors have been married for over 50 years and they do everything together!  They do their shopping together; they visit their friends and family together; they do their gardening together, etc.  It works for them, but that would not work for me and my husband.  We need our space and our own independence. Being our own person is important to us.  The most significant action is that we always come together at the end of the day! 

Good communication and patience is what is needed for the longevity of the marriage.  Do not think that every day is going to be perfect.  Life itself does not work that way.  Working through your misunderstandings is imperative.  It may not be easy at times, but this is what will keep you together. The younger generation seem to quickly separate/divorce rather than address and seek alternatives to their problems. 

The longer we live, we go through so many stages. Keep it simple, be patient and understanding, and you will do well.  There is nothing better than going through all those stages of life with someone that you love.  Enjoy, be happy, work through the difficult times, and take nothing for granted! 

3. What story would I like to write for myself?  

Due to my age, I am in quite a different position than the  younger women of today. The young should pursue their goals and dreams.  You should do what is right for you! 

My marriage and motherhood will always be my top priority.  It was and is most enjoyable and rewarding for me, and thus my family members derive pleasure as well.  This is what is right for me.  I wouldn’t have it any other way!