Angela McFarlane

Angela McFarlane

From: Christchurch, New Zealand

Lives: Melbourne, Australia

Who are you in the world?

I am a brave, courageous, kind, very caring, compassionate, empathetic woman who likes to love and people and be around people. I like to look for things that I can compliment about people because we never have any idea how doing something kind can do for another. I also like to do what I can to make my corner of the world more of a loving and kind place than when I got there. 

I am the mother of two adult children, aged 27 and 30. I am a published author. I am loyal, feisty, a great friend, I can be stubborn, fun and outgoing. I like me and who I am. I have had to work hard to find who I am and I could only do it by being brave and stepping into the person I was meant to be before trauma hit my life.

Most people have been through something, for some people it’s been something tougher, but it’s all relevant. Some people have not been through so much and can’t deal with life. Some have been through a lot and have a positive attitude to life. I am now feeling much more competent as a mother and person than I was before I experienced trauma.

Sometimes I see resilience as being banded around, however coping can be a downfall where it means that we put up with too much for too long.

What is the story that you would like rewritten for women?

I would like to shift the standard that we set for ourselves. If we understood at a young age what we are truly worth, we wouldn’t let people hurt us in any way and we learned that this wasn’t ok in our society, it would change things in so many ways. If only we knew that we are worth so much more than we realise. The women in my family have experienced a lot of abuse. If they had known their worth, their kids and grandkids lives would have been different. We can’t change the past, but at the bottom of what we have dealt with is that if we have a high standard of worth, we don’t attract people who treat us like crap. And lots ripples out from that.

What is the story that you would next like to write for yourself?

In the last few years, I have moved through a lot of trauma, and I now feel like I have the space to dream bigger. I want to visit my online friends of over 20 years in the UK, Sweden, the USA, Canada and to explore their corners of the world. We initially met in a chatroom in MSN Messenger and have laughed, cried and shared life ever since.

I want to be on stage and sing in a choir. I want to be a grandmother, but I’m happy to still wait a few years! I want to do something to help people and develop a sense of connection and purpose… to find “that thing”. I want to continue to be a role model for my son. I love myself and I love him and I want to show him and relate to him from a better place than we have in the past. Ultimately, I am proud to be breaking patterns for my future generations.