Woman

How does a girl know how to be a woman,

When she was not really mothered?

Where she so often mothered herself

Yet a part of her never fully grew up

How does this girl learn to be raw, honest and vulnerable

Where her lifetime of relating experiences

Mimic that she should hold herself tightly, ensuring others were happy

How does this girl find comfort where there are shakey foundations?

How does she move from valuing love, connection and integrity,

To living these fully?

How does this girl find the stillness she desires,

Amongst a lifetime of chaos and drama

How does this girl find the wholeness of womanhood,

While pushing through the bandaids and shallow graves of old wounds?

How does this girl truelly nurture herself and others,

Where it feels easier to keep running

And putting out spot fires as she leaps

How does this girl call on her courage

To build the depth, meaning and deeply nourishing relationships

Home and life that she craves?

 

She doesn’t want to run anymore

She wants to be fully seen and to show up truly as she is

She craves boldness, passion, wildness

And the freedom of her open heart and soul

She knows she is there, she knows who she is, yet she feels held at bay

How does she overcome herself

So that she can exist here in her full expression?

She thought she had it before, and now sees the fault lines and cracks

Which led to her eruption.

She knows deep in her soul that this was needed

Over and over again

The mere act of trying things on and releasing them

Has brought her closer to her whole

She is a truth seeker, she is loving and brave, she dreams of a better world

And does her best to contribute

And she craves her community

She will allow herself to fall apart

When her old truth is no longer her new truth

She may always be in the process of becoming,

And this may be her only truth

She is growing in her acceptance, appreciation and gentle loving,

That this may be her version of womanhood.

She may forever creates herself in her unfolding

 

She may never know the process of becoming a woman

Yet she can relish in sewing pieces to the patchwork quilt that has become the artwork of her life

She can wrap her bare, naked, beautiful and vulnerable body in her quilt

And stand boldly as she speaks her heart and souls truth, as it stands today

Knowing that this is one of many chapters of her evolution

She can nurture herself

As she does the memory of her mother and the other women in her lineage

Relishing in the array of choices in her life

That they were not exposed to

She can wear flowers in her curly hair

To remind her of how she flourishes

She can find her home in her heart and soul

She can show up in the essence of who she is

And in doing so, create her own expression of freedom

She can relish in beauty and pain, knowing fully that neither exists alone

She can give herself permission to unravel the tightly wound up girl inside

Making space for the flowing woman that is becoming of her

She can learn to mother and take the very best care of herself

And in doing so, she can create her own version of woman

By Michelle Andrea Gardiner, written in September 2017